


JG

by waterlilyvioletfog



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Hallucinations, Jessie's Not Doing So Well, Nate Was An Asshole, The Silent City, clockwork prince, i just wanna talk about jessie and will shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 19:02:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18288347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterlilyvioletfog/pseuds/waterlilyvioletfog
Summary: "Jessamine could feel it, the moment he died. Nathaniel Gray, her husband. He was dead. She wasn’t sure how he died or how she knew he was dead, but she was sure that she knew."This is Jessie’s POV of Tessa’s fever dream in Clockwork Prince. It’s sad and messed up because it’s Jessie. Some ruminations on Jessamine’s relationships with people, particularly Will because I find their relationship fascinating.





	JG

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr awhile back. Go yell at me on tumblr, my url is the same as my username.   
> Warning: Jessamine is hallucinating Will, who's pretty mean to her so. You know. OOC Will because Jessie.

Jessamine could feel it, the moment he died. Nathaniel Gray, her husband. He was dead. She wasn’t sure how he died or how she knew he was dead, but she was sure that she knew. 

Jessamine got up. The past few days had been- awful. She had told Jem and Tessa that but did they listen? Of course not. They were Jem and Tessa and when did they ever listen to her? All they did was stare sadly at her, as if her insistence on being a lady and seeing the shadowhunters fall was pitiable, sad, childish. Pathetic.

It would have been better if Will had come, Jessie decided- he wouldn’t listen to her either, but he would mock her and laugh at her and she could hate him and that would be easier than seeing pity in Theresa Gray’s wide grey eyes. It was how they’d lived for four years- hatred and mockery and more hatred. 

Nate was dead and Will hadn’t come to mock her. That probably meant he wasn’t ever going to come, was never going to give her the rage she needed. Charlotte would come next, or maybe Henry. Jem might feel bad for her and visit. Maybe he would play something for her if she asked- some Mozart or Bach. But no, that was a silly thought. This was the Silent City and Jem’s kindness had no place here. 

Jessamine crossed to the other side of the room. Her hair was tangled and dark from lack of washing. She couldn’t imagine what crying and lack of sleep had done to her face. Maybe even Will wouldn’t be able to mock her like this. It was an odd thought- Will mocked everything, just as she hated everything. Will would be able to laugh at her. Probably about how she was so weak that a single swing of a silver-backed hairbrush by a mundane lady’s maid was enough to knock her unconscious. 

Jessamine knelt before the blank stone of her cell. She wondered whether Jem had plans to marry Tessa. They’d kissed in the carriage they took to come visit her, that was plain as day, but would James Carstairs, who blushed at her lower-necked gowns and wouldn’t hurt a fly ever be able to muster up the courage to run away with a warlock girl? Jessie doubted it. 

Would Tessa even be willing to run with him? Tessa had designs on Will, too and once Jem was dead, Will and Tessa could safely run off into the sunset to live freely away from the shadowhunters. Jessamine had known Will since he was thirteen. Jessie knew Will was ridiculously in love with Tessa, but would he ever have enough good sense to run away from the Nephilim and marry her? His father had before him, Jessie knew. He might. He might, and that was enough. Jem was the smile to Will’s laughter, and Will the sneers to her glares. She was here and Jem was dying and Will would run away with Tessa and the Nephilim would never get them. 

Jessamine drew out the necklace from beneath her nightgown. It was a simple chain, with a simple diamond ring on it. Nate had given it to her. Charlotte’s voice rang in Jessie’s ears,  _“What do you know of mundane marriage ceremonies, Jessie?”_ There was Will, laughing at her, midnight blue eyes dancing as he asked her, “Did you really think that  _Nate Gray,_ a mundane fool who sold his own sister for cash would really marry  _you,_ Jessie? You think he loved you?"

Jessamine scowled and grit her teeth. “Yes,” Jessie spat at them, “Yes, I do think Nate Gray who sold his _abomination_ of a sister-cousin to a man happy to take her off his hands would marry me, Jessamine Lovelace.” 

“Oh really, Jessie?” Will raised a single dark eyebrow at her, smiling like he knew something she didn’t. “Prove it then, Jessie.” Jessamine wanted to snarl at him, to strangle him and watch the life drain from his pretty blue eyes but refrained because snarling at and attempting to strangle your imagination could be considered a sign of lunacy. She just clenched her jaw at him instead and crouched before the wall of her cell. 

Jessamine set the diamond against the stone and began to carve. The curve of the J, then the cross at the top of it, moving on to the swoop of the G and Jessie had nearly done it, had almost carved the initials of her new name, the name no one could take from her- not the Inquisitor, not the Silent Brothers, not Charlotte, not  _Will-_ the name  _Jessamine Gray,_ when the diamond shattered. 

Will’s laughter filled the air. “I told you, Jessie,” Will whispered in her ear, “I told you that  _Nate Gray_  who sold his little sister to the first man who would take her  _for a job_  would never really marry  _you,_ Jessamine. You, after all, are a  _traitor.”_

And just like that, Will was gone and it was just Jessamine and the stone wall of her cell and her broken, shattered heart.


End file.
